Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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