Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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