belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
