A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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