Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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