i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
