I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
