Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
