Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
