So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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