The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
