porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
