remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
its liver damage thursday
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
