Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
