if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
