girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
