I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He shit in the fireplace
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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