he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
