Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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