I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
