respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
