We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You have to summon your inner elephant
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
