yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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