I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Drake has all the answers
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
