Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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