I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
