white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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