I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
