Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
