Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
