wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
