'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
