Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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