Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
