She said her name was "party"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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