brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
