I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
