Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
