i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
