is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
