did you get engaged???
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
