? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
