You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
