Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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