Define "chronic" masturbator.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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