At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
