Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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