I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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