Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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