Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
